Ash Ramsunder’s Good Vibrations Blog
Ash Ramsunder is able to see the positive side of life having turned his life completely around from the depths of despair to the ultimate joy of living and loving life in its entirety. In his ‘Good Vibrations’ blog he will be sharing his thoughts with you on a regular basis so that you can learn how to change your life too.
All of us at veryparanormal.com are extremely grateful for his valuable contribution. In this first article Ash introduces himself to you with a little background about himself so that you can understand that he speaks from a place of authenticity.
He has called this article Genesis
GENESIS
I shouldn’t be alive. No really, I shouldn’t. But as I sit here on this crisp autumn morning, staring out of my window with a warm cup of coffee in hand, staving off the new chill in the air, I silently witness as the foliage of the trees turn orange and their thick branches begin to appear bare. The days are shorter, the nights longer and there is a new silent sombreness that lingers in the air as the dormant season approaches. There doesn’t seem to be new growth and the happy songs of the early morning birds have begun to dwindle. A new season approaches….
Isn’t it amazing how everybody – including Nature – has an autumn in their lives? A period where everything around you seems to be dying; a period where you feel completely stripped and exposed bare; a period where new growth is just not happening no matter what you do. For me, that period has occurred at moments throughout my life – as it has in all our lives – but it was mostly pronounced a few years ago – 2016, to be exact. However, the irony of it all was that that inner autumn season of my life which I thought would be the end of me led to the biggest growth and expansion of my life and was merely the beginning of things to come. It transformed me completely within and now, finally after 35 years on Earth, my outer life begins to match my inner life (and vice versa).
The strange thing about life is that it is lived forward and understood backwards. We have all wished at some point in our lives that we had a secret remote control where we could rewind, pause, skip and replay certain events of our lives. Happily, we are only given one take in the movie of our lives. Happily? There are many moments of my I wish I could do-over again, you may say. Trust me, I have been there and have said the same. But when I look back and think of all the silly mistakes and downright dumb decisions that I WILLINGLY made and the lessons that I have learned from those consequences, I also see the distinct growth, the newfound strength, the formidable wisdom, the undeniable metamorphosis and the changed behaviour that arose from having to go through those experiences. All in all – and as painful as it may have been – it was a necessary part of my journey and if you examine your life closely and honestly too, you will notice that it has all been a necessary part of your journey too.
When I say I should not be alive, I really do mean it. There’s no melodrama. It’s not a hook to reel you further into reading this. Quite frankly – and crudely put – I should be dead. The date that I had chosen to end my life was July 3rd, 2016. It was not an ideation; it was an actual intent on my part following the consequences that arose from my own short-sighted actions. There was no two ways about it… I was going to kill myself and I had it all meticulously planned out, including the note, and I would have gone through with it had I not had a profound and powerful spiritual experience that changed both my decision and the trajectory of my life.
Here’s the thing about suicide: Nobody really wants to die, they just want their pain to end. Once we understand this, it removes the barrier of judgement and condemnation and opens up an avenue of dialogue which allows hurting people to express themselves without fear. It changes our question from, “How could you want to kill yourself?” to “How can I assist in understanding and alleviating your pain?”
The night before I planned to take my life was perhaps one of the longest and most painful that I have ever experienced. It was a cold, wet, rainy night and I had thousands of questions but no answers. I could see NO WAY out of the pain, the humiliation or the situation. I felt attacked, I felt betrayed, I felt abandoned. I had been religious during my life, converting to Christianity at age 6 and I had a “corporate” relationship with God and spirituality, rather than a personal one. As I lay curled up in a foetal position on the wooden floors of my bedroom, I decided to confront the One who I felt TRULY abandoned and betrayed by. I decided to confront God. And as I cried and spat out one vicious and savage sentence after another about how He could allow this, I decided to take it a step further and got deeply personal. Over the course of what must have been 30 minutes of a continuous monologue of gasping sobs mixed with angry and resentful rants, I called Him out on everything. I called Him out of how betrayed I felt. I called Him out on how I angry I felt towards Him for allowing this to happen. I called Him a liar, I called Him a fraud, I even called Him a megalomaniac who was perhaps not all that omnipotent as I was lead to believe. “If you do exist,” I said, “I turn my face from you and want nothing to do with you when I am dead.”
Not one of my proudest moments.
I remember the scene and the setting all so clearly and vividly now as I lived it back then. I picked myself up from my foetal position and went on my knees – out of sorrow, not reverence. I lowered my head as warm salty tears streamed from my closed eyes down both cheeks… Finally, out of complete exasperation, I begged aloud, “If you are who You say are, show me, show me, just f*****g show me!”
Immediately I heard the sound of what sounded like rushing wind behind me in the direction of dressing table. It was loud and I could distinguish that it was in my room and not from the wind outside. My eyes were still closed and I was a little bewildered at this point, but I could “see” a golden white light enveloping the room and became acutely aware of a “Presence” in the room. It was strong, it was real, it was palpable and it was completely undeniable.
After a few seconds, I felt this Presence and warm light advance towards me and hover above me. My eyes were still closed but it was as bright (if not brighter) as if I were to stare at the sun through closed eyes. I wondered if I were hallucinating and was about to open my eyes when this Light suddenly just dropped into me and completely enveloped me. In that instant, I felt an indescribable peace, joy, inner bliss, complete acceptance and unconditional love that I have NEVER before. There was no sadness or suicidal thoughts… All trace of depression had vanished from me within every fibre of my being; there was only an inexpressible sense of deep joy and an even deeper appreciation of life. It was utterly beautiful and incredibly intense and I literally gasped in awe and began smiling out of sheer inner ecstasy.
The Light that enveloped me felt warm, nurturing, almost like liquid and seemed to be alive and rejuvenating, immersing me fully in both its immensity and intensity. I could not tell where I ended and it began. There was no separation but a profound understanding and “knowing” within that moment that EVERYTHING is connected and that we are all part of the One. (From this experience, I now have a deeper understanding of what the Christ meant when He said, “I am the Light.” This same statement, too, can be said by anyone of us).
After what appeared to be a few minutes of unfathomable bliss and unconditional love, I felt this Light and the Presence gradually begin to move from me towards the dressing area where I first heard the sound of rushing wind. As it did so, I began to become aware of my individuality again.
I could still feel the Presence standing behind me towards the dressing area at the far end of the room. At this point, I was still on my knees, with my eyes closed, facing my bed as I was when I had my confrontation with God. I didn’t want to let go of this feeling and this experience by opening my eyes (much like how we don’t want to get back to reality after deep worship or meditation). You really just want to take it all in and not end the moment.
Gradually I began to turn around and face towards the dressing area. To my astonishment, I found that I could “see” the back of the room in complete detail with my eyes closed. I don’t mean a general picture or a vague description of where things where, I mean that I was able to actually SEE with my eyes completely closed. And then I saw the “Presence”…
He appeared to me as an old man – an ascended Master – and he stared kindly and compassionately at me; his silent gaze conveying an unspoken dialogue of familiarity and kinship. In addition to his grey hair, he had a matching grey beard and a tender smile – one which alluded to his sensitivity and kindness. He wore a robe as white as snow– almost like the ones depicted by the ancient Israelites – and carried a staff in his right hand. An indescribable wisdom emanated all around him and, without effort, he seemed to exude an aura of deep peace and serenity. He seemed incapable of judgement and although I had seen him for a few seconds, it felt as if I had known him for a lifetime.
His posture was one of confidence and conviction. His demeanour, one of authority and wisdom.
The first question that popped into my naive mind was not, “Who are you?” as logic would dictate. The first question I asked was, “Are you Christian or Jewish?”
The man smiled at me. “In reality, I am neither male nor female. I am not Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu or Buddhist,” he replied. “I am simply That Which I Am. I have come to bring you Relationship, not religion…And I have been sent because you have asked.”
“Sent by whom?” I asked.
“By God, the Great Spirit, the Creator, the Supreme… The One that is many, the many that is One. Have you not heard, ‘Ask and you shall receive,’” replied the ascended Master.
And this is how my journey into spirituality began… Needless to say – and in hindsight, much to my delight – I did not proceed with my plans to end my life. I know that you want me to continue with the dialogue between myself and the Ascended Master (his name made known to me a little while later) and I shall through another medium. My intention and hope is to bring you to a deeper level of renewed insight and understanding – as I was. You do not need to have as a profound and direct as an experience as I have to know that you are loved, valued and truly not alone. But also know that it is your right to have a connection to Spirit should you wish to do so, out of pure intention and upright heart.
So my advice to you is: Celebrate the seasons of your life – even the autumns and winters – just as Nature does. For everything, there truly is a purpose and nobody understands this better than I do. If I could be chosen for such an undertaking as this – imperfect little me – then how much more can you achieve with your own lives. Not every difficult situation and hurtful person is sent your way to destroy you – though it may be their initial intent. These challenges and difficulties that you face are meant to promote you, strengthen you, embolden you and elevate you. Let us always be mindful of each other and do our best to help each other along. Your life – and everything about it – will begin to change the moment you shift your focus and attention from competition to contribution. Let us expand our mindsets and understand that life is not about what we can take from it but rather about what we contribute to it.
For now beloved, I leave you with this simple truth which my guide (and life itself) continues to remind me: Even when things appear to be going horribly wrong, they are actually going wonderfully right.
May today be your beginning. May today be your Genesis.
Ash Ramsunder
https://www.facebook.com/ashveer.ramsunder.1
At Ash’s request the psychic art picture of the man in white drawn by Psychic Artist Jackie Dennison has been added to the article
